Of Pterodactyls

I don't know quite what it is, and I'm not the only one, but a Pterodactyl is one of the coolest dinosaurs, especially to impersonate. Maybe it's because I can do the pterodactyl screech super well.

Maybe it's because a beast that could come flying out of the air and pick up a small human for lunch is, well, beast. Or boss. Or both. Alliteration FTW. Anyhow, I have found myself in a pterodactyl mood recently. And while others may disagree, I can't say it's a bad thing. On Sunday night there were two occasions I screamed "PTERODACTYL ATTACK!" and jumped on a high schooler at youth group. Win.

Also, observe:


I am not saying that if I could evolve Pokéman style into a pterodactyl hybrid, I would. But I'm also not saying it would be an easy decision not to.

I think we can agree that the pterodactyl is one of the greatest animals ever. Next to of course, the Piranhamoose.

As a closer, I'd like to share this link with you. Be warned, it is from the Oatmeal and is definitely inappropriate. But it is dang funny and features the love child of a bear and pterodactyl--that's right--a bearodactyl. Enjoy.

Three Things That Make Me Laugh

More specifically, three webcomics. These three are part of a select few of webcomics that make me laugh almost every comic. And they each post at least three times a week.

Here, I am giving you something else to distract you:

1. Toothpaste For Dinner--updated daily, simple art, sarcastic and random humor:


Also this and this.

2. Strangegods--updated three times a week, featuring good jokes and a groundhog:


3. Wondermark--another three day a week webcomic, this one has old-timey illustration style while focusing on much more timely issues (see below) and featuring some fantastic creatures:



Tell me what you think!

Also, are there any webcomics or webcomicesque things you subscribe to?

Unconventional Advertising

Due to unforeseen and difficult, stressful circumstances my posting may be spotty for a while. Here's one I dragged from the depths:

This video is way old, as in, I've had the draft for this post in my posts list for at least four to five months. So long, in fact, that I don't really remember the justification behind it, but perhaps those of you in advertising will enjoy this?

I know I would be cuss well more inclined to buying something if this advertisement flew by.



Is this an effective advertising technique?

[Tip O' the Hat to Brad Ruggles]

Not to Get Political, But... [Part 2]

[View Part 1]

This is going to be short, I've realized there's not much more to say. I've already said that Glenn Beck is despicable, not in the good way either.

It would be one thing to simply espouse conservative viewpoints in an aggressive manner. It would be another to rail against someone who was inciting violence and hate. But when you decry Jim Wallis as a Marxist (among other things), a man who is the president of Sojourners, a ministry dedicated to helping people, you're just despicable. I will refrain from stronger language.

Also, Beck's claim that he must be saying something right because of the opposition is also defunct: There was huge opposition from people in the U.S. and in the various European countries to the atrocities of Fascists in Europe, but did that mean Hitler, Franco, and Mussolini were "really on it?" I think not.

Finally, a friend shared this verse with me on yesterday's post. Yet another passage of Scripture (Mormon scripture, too) that directly contradicts Glenn Beck's idiotic rantings:

"Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy."
--Proverbs 31:8-9

I don't want to get really political or anything on this blog, but this is the first time in a long time that something political has absolutely impassioned me enough to have to say something about it.

Not to Get Political, But...

I don't think this is a political issue. I think it is an inherently theological one.

Now, just as a caveat, I would like to inform you that, if pushed to it, I would probably declare myself politically conservative, or at least conservative-moderate. I also don't have huge issues with Fox News as a network (a view that may change the next few years), like many liberal-minded people do.

That being said, Glenn Beck is nothing short of one of the most despicable "journalists" (if you can call him that) I have ever witnessed. Recently, he has equated the ideas of social justice with communism, and actually had the audacity to tell Christians to leave their churches if their church supports it.

First, where the heck does Glenn Beck get the idea he has any authority to compel Christians to do anything. His Mormon faith is not a branch of Christianity (an argument for another time) and even if it were, he is nowhere near the position of minister.

Second, if you take even the slightest glance at the Bible, both testaments make a strong emphasis on caring for the poor, and instituting social justice. Observe:

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."
--James 1:27 (closely preceded by a warning to bridle your tongue--ironic? I think not).

But that's a little ambiguous, yes? How about this:

"The righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’"
--Matthew 25:37-40.

I don't know how you can get much clear than that. There are also old testament examples of social and economic justice. Not to mention probably the greatest commandment Christ gave--love your neighbor as yourself. If you were poor, destitute, unable to pay for basic health or living costs, I think you would honestly desire help, so why is even talking about doing that considered dangerous?

Part 2 of this to come tomorrow. [See it here]

Place Poem

Another assigned poem for my Poetry Writing class last semester. We were required to pick a place on campus, describe it in poetic verse, then add a character to the location. If you go to Winthrop, try to guess where it is.

Also--I love feedback on my poetry--specific feedback. As in, this line works, I don't understand that line, etc. So do not withhold if you have something.

Decide, Decide, or Die
2009

A young man walks through
The small, secret, brick-lined tunnel,
Decide, decide, decide: Two white doors,
One knobless, contend on either side.
He bears a strange similarity to
The long, unused light, exposed by a cracked cover,
Residing with a pipe on the too-low white ceiling.
Why choose the knobless door?
Why not the obvious, knob-ful choice?
Four times sprayed paint calls him, with a
Revolutionary upraised fist to “GIVE IN,”
He wants to give in to the knobless door;
The knoblessness is no less than alluring.
The fifth “GIVE IN” fist, however, once
Scrawled on the ground, is worn away:
Many have walked that way before.
And, one time on the rusted vent, the fist
Reminds him of the temporary nature of things.
How this decision, indecision, result,
Are already all but gone.
Three prosperous green dots, blooming with
His potential, underline a lover’s note:
“It’s too late to turn back now…
I believe, I believe, I believe I’m falling in love.”
No. He turns back now,
He believes, he believes, he is loveless.
In dying retreat, he ducks to miss the pipe.

What Teachers Make

You must have heard that classic line, reiterated by Jack Black in School of Rock: "Those that can't do, teach. (and those that can't teach, teach Gym)" As someone who is close to a number of people in the education business, it may be fun to laugh at sometimes, but what do we really think about it?

Here is a slam poem (another reason I like this) by Taylor Mali that explains, very well, what teachers make. (I should warn you though--there's a touch o' the language at the very end of the video.) [Poem's full text is here if you want to read along.]



[Tip o' the hat to my friends Eddie and Julianna]

Of Experience

I used to hate it when people would restrain an explanation of something to "you'll understand when it happens to you," or "someday it will make sense." But as I grow older, it seems to ring true.

So much is dependent on our experiences. Our knowledge, understanding, et cetera, our emotions, sentiments, likes and dislikes. It all has its roots in experience. Only after years of being selfish and ignorant to others' needs can you develop a thought process that includes others' interest before your own.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.--1 Corinthians 13:11

And this passage comes in the context of the "love" chapter, 1 Corinthians 13. Paul doesn't say, when I was a child, I put away childish things. I can only imagine a 4 year old who, when asked by his parents if he wanted to run around play ball, replied with a "No, that's childish--I'd rather run the figures for that board meeting tomorrow."

When you're a kid, you do kiderrific (yes, kiderrific) things because that's what you know, being a kid, after all. And I am all for kiderrificness. I act like a child all the time. Many of you can attest to that. But why is that considered wrong sometimes? Because "I should know better." Why? Because I have had the experience.

You can't expect a 4 year old to write a 5-7 page paper on the Modernist techniques displayed by T.S. Eliot in "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock," and no more will it be common for him to think of what others want over his innate desire for running around and Kool-Aid.

But--if you are older, which I'll assume you are because you are reading a blog, then you do have the experience--and should act accordingly. I'm not speaking as someone who's got it down (my friends will concur with me on this one), but I'm thinking about it and I'm trying.

Now go have fun while loving Jesus and others, please.

The Second Coming

I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't just put that comic there because I thought it was hilarious, and it's only tangentially related to the substance of this post. Now, on to the post.

What's this? "OhmyfreakinggoshT.J.isthebiggesthypocriteever." Why, you may ask? Actually, you're probably not. Either because

A) You know why.

B) You don't care whether or not I am on Facebook.

That's right, after all of my ranting and raving about how evil this social networking entity is, and how if you use it you probably hate everything that is good and pure in this life (I'm pretty sure I said something like that), I'm coming back.

You see, the thing is, it's been one year since I deactivated my account, and it has therefore not been a waste of my time and "just something to do"--the two main reasons I got off in the first place. Plus there are some things that are appealing to me on Facebook:

1. The sheer number of friends I can connect to on Facebook greatly exceeds the number I can connect to just about anywhere else, especially over long distances.
2. I can't tell you how annoying it is when someone says "Did you see that picture on Faceboo---oh, no you didn't." No, I didn't. So, seeing pictures is a plus.
3. Seeing upcoming birthdays and events, instead of hearing about them the day of is a definite plus.
4. Hopefully I will be able to direct people from my Facebook to this blog, and increase the readership. Maybe. Probably not, but it's worth a shot.

So, to review, I am coming back for people, photos, events, and blog. Just singular blog. I am going to start calling this blog "Blog" now. I will ask people "Did you read Blog today? Blog was funny. I worked hard on Blog." That is all.

Do you think I am hypocritical, or an idiot, or both? Or some other combination of negative monikers?

This Week

Because it is my Spring Break, and because I am therefore engaged in other activities, I won't be posting much, if at all this week. You probably won't be missing me either. Whatever. Enjoy the week if you're off, sorry if you aren't.