Sometimes I just want to go out and make some bad decisions. I'm too dang intelligent to not realize they were stupid, so blatant idiocy is the only available explanation if I chose to make one of those bad choices.
Anything from completely blowing off the rest of school to pursuing an available girl just to make out to spending an outrageous amount of money on stuff I just want.
It is interesting to note that these urges to purposefully make mistakes often coincide with times I am discontent with God. As a friend of mine put it, "Christ isn't going to give up on us," and I sure hope he isn't.
I'm so dang tired of trying to live according to the faith I claim, and so dang tired of being tired of it.
I need some restoration up in here.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
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I hope you realize that the standard that you hold yourself to will never be met. You're never going to be happy with yourself spiritually because you will always be reaching for that perfection that is impossible to meet. It's ok to be dissatisfied with where you are in your walk, that way, you will always strive to be closer and better. But, there's a difference in trying to please God and trying to be a perfect person. i know that you know you are not perfect, but be ok with knowing that you are imperfect. God is ok with it and loves you even though you have a desire to do bad things. He revels in your imperfections and shortcomings, because His love abounds despite that, and in thus His justice and grace is made known.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say something helpful.....I hope it is.
Love you.